well. i had pancakes this morning. i couldnt resisit. but i only had one. so thats something. NOT. and since that ive had some yogurt. thats it. shit, i really hate the beginning of my fasts or "not eating" episodes. its so hard. cuz the pain is soo unberable sometimes. it hurts. like right now, my stomach is aching soo bad. it almost feels like cramps. im in so much pain. ive taken meds today for the pain to go away for alittle while. but it comes back. ive tried sleeping it off but i cant. i cant get to sleep. its so hard. im sorry if i sound soo weak. but its just rough right now. ill get better at it. i did go to the gym today. it says i lost 200 cals. on the treadmill (cuz usualy they have this little thing that shows about how many cals youve burned). then i went to work on abs, thighs, arms, and chest. i almost wanna stop working out. b/c i think thats part of the reason i weigh so much . b/c of muscle mass. i just dont like al this flabby i have and i wanna tone it. fuck. i dont know. im gonna go watch laguna beach(i got the dvd the other day). woot !!! yeah i know. im a loser.

think thin ..

Kier<333